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Baltimore Apparently Has No Chance; You Hate To See It :)

It’s been a busy day, as I’ve been running around to grocery stores to stock up, since the local weather people are saying Thursday we could have anywhere between 2 and 103 inches of snow and ice.

Nice job of nailing that forecast down with precision, guys.

So as I'm catching up on what I’ve missed this afternoon, I came across a graphic from the good people at Fangraphs rating every Major League Baseball team’s postseason odds. At this time of the year, common wisdom has said, everyone has a chance. Everyone’s 0-0. Hope springs eternal.

Except if you’re a fan of the Baltimore Orioles.

Their chances are listed at 0.0 percent. Senator John Blutarsky’s GPA in Animal House. The membership fees on a Discover Card. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. You know that meme that says “So you’re saying there’s a chance?” They’re not. They are saying you have NO chance.

This may have brought a smile to my face. You see, if you don’t live up here in the Northern Virginia/DC/Maryland area, you may not be aware of the “special” relationship between fans of Washington and Baltimore professional teams. It’s a nice way of saying Baltimore fans can be one colossal pain in the backside to Washington fans, never just being happy with their own success. They’ve got to make sure you know about it, whether you want to or not.

Over the years if I post something good about how the artists formerly know as the Washington Redskins are doing, I can count on at least two fans from Baltimore telling me how much better the Ravens are doing. When the Nationals won the World Series, they jumped in my feeds to make sure you knew that all Nationals fans were at one time Orioles fans and were just front runners without any real character who abandoned the O’s for the Nats.

Mind you, these aren’t strangers doing it either. These are good friends of mine who just can’t help themselves. It’s a Baltimore tradition right up there with crabcakes and the Harbor. They KNOW they’re annoying me, but still look for every chance to say everything is better in Baltimore.

So when I first saw that, the immediate thought was “you just hate to see it.” Then I found myself walking through the house singing this, to the tune of Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My (Orioles) Wings”:

♫ Did you ever know that you’re a zero,
Everyone laughs behind your back;
You may think you can climb all mountains,
But we really know that you’re a hack ♫

Catchy little tune, isn’t it?

I hate to stand up for Baltimore fans, but this really isn’t fair. Every team has some chance, even if it’s .000001. A meteor could hit the earth and wipe out the rest of the American League. An earthquake could destroy all MLB stadiums except Camden Yards, so the Orioles are the only team who could play. Aliens might invade all major cities in the US, but decide Baltimore is too risky so they leave that city alone.

But not to Fangraphs. They say every game the Orioles play is practice. They’re like a NASCAR team with no sponsor, going nowhere, fast.

I’m sorry, Baltimore fans. Thanks to your diligence, I’ve always known how many Super Bowls the Ravens have won since the last time Washington was in the big game. I’ve always known how many more World Series the Orioles have won than the Washington Nationals have. I even know how many years this region only had one major league baseball team, and which city it was in.

But now, I know even more: the percentage number that declares your chances to reach postseason this year.

It rhymes with the last name of Orioles Executive Vice President Michael Shapiro.

You just hate to see it. 😊

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Saturday, 27 February 2021
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