If you’ve followed along on this site or my Twitter feed (@dullesdistrict) then you know all about my beagle/hound mix puppy, Maggie The WonderBeagle. She even has her own Twitter account (@MTWonderBeagle) and is now far more popular than I’ll ever be.
There once was a time when I was Dave, and Maggie was my dog. Now I’m just known as Maggie’s Dad.
The little rock star is no longer satisfied with just a Twitter account. She believes her 622 followers want more than 280 characters can contain and wants a regular feature on this site. I’ve told her I doubt that, but if people wanted to ask her questions, I’d be OK with a weekly deal where she answered them. I’ve given her an email address (Maggie AT dullesdistrict.com) and told her let’s see how many people ask anything.
So here are the first week’s questions, along with Maggie’s answers, which she sent to me telepathically and I then typed them into the site:
Q: Nala, a very sweet dog here in Loudoun County asked “What Are Your 5 Top Treats?”:
A: My go to snack is MaroSnacks by Milk-Bone. Daddy keeps a big bowl of them on the counter and always puts three in his pocket when we go outside. He only gives me two, but I can count, so I hound him going up the steps to give me that third one. Sometimes I even fake going outside just to beg him for another handful of these. Daddy doesn’t like this.
Purina makes something called a Chewnola that I really like, and I used to get a pumpkin teething ring that I could tear right through in a matter of minutes. The Ultra Chewy Double Treat Bone is good, but my favorite treat is really anything Daddy is eating. I can hypnotize him with my stare and he gives me part of everything he’s eating.
Q: Blue Sky (@This_Place23 on Twitter) asks “What’s is your idea of a perfect day?
A: I like to snuggle with Mom and Dad, eat a few good meals, go outside every two hours and chase an occasional rabbit or squirrel, then come inside and sit in my chair in the kitchen and look outside. I have a big basket of toys, so I start the day grabbing one and getting up in Daddy’s face so he’ll play with me. If he says no after a few minutes, I go back to the basket and bring him every toy I own until he gives up and plays with me. He claims he can say no to me. But I have superpowers that say otherwise.
Q: Rick Snider (@Snide_Remarks on Twitter) asks “How many hours are you awake daily?”
A: Daddy warned me you’d be trouble. But to answer your question, it depends. On days when Daddy is cooking, I don’t sleep much at all because he tends to drop small pieces of what he’s making in front of me so I can get a taste. As an Italian dog, we call this letting me “wet my beak.” On other days when it’s raining all day, I could end up sleeping close to 18 hours in a day.
Q: Seasons of Discontent Podcast (@TheSODPodcast on Twitter) asks “Are you allowed to bark at bad food?”
A: That’s kind of like asking me about particularly insightful comments by Booger McFarland. I haven’t experienced either. Daddy knows his way around a kitchen, and while he may not be much to look at, he’s got a Ph.D with a knife and fork. Bad food just doesn’t exist around here.
Q: Rick Snider (@TourGuideDC on Twitter) asks “Are meatballs an essential food?”
A: You again? I’m going into Daddy’s office and converting his copy of “100 Things Redskins Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die” to being my latest chew toy. As an Italian dog, of course they are. The Italian food pyramid consists of garlic, tomatoes, onions, meatballs, sausage and Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Everyone knows that.
Q: Doug King (@gcastlehokie on Twitter) asks “Did you negotiate the treats in your contact?
A: Daddy’s my agent, so this is a tricky question. Let’s just say we’ve figured out a way to make the number of treats I get fair. Otherwise, he knows I’ll load up on food, wait a few hours before going outside, then go over to the heating vent and make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Q: Laura (@BeaglesaurusRed on Twitter) asks “What’s your favorite place to nap?”
A: Mom after dinner likes to sit in a particular place on the den sofa and put her feet up on the ottoman. I like to climb up on the ottoman and put my head on her legs to make it as uncomfortable on her as possible. Then while I’m pretending to sleep, I push my legs out to the point she has to get up and move over to the love seat. Then I stretch out and take every inch of where she was sitting. That’s good napping.
Q: Danny emailed in a question saying “Hey Maggie – what is your favorite dog-friendly Town in Loudoun?” He also provide a hint that said “Your answer better be Middleburg. :)”
A: Ashburn is nice. So is Leesburg. But as there was also a digital gift card from Petsmart attached to your email, I’m going to say Middleburg.
Q: Emma (@emma_esl on Twitter) asks “Who is more comfy, Mom or Dad?”
A: Clearly a tough question, but Daddy says I have to get used to these for when I run for public office. I’d say Daddy, but that would annoy Mom. And Daddy said if he’s learned anything in the 40 years he’s been married to Mom, it’s that Mom holds grudges. So I’m going with Mom.
Q: Gilbert emailed in a question asking “How are you so perfect?”
A: I asked Mom, and she said the secret to being perfect in life was to use lots of moisturizer, although I don’t think that’s it for me. I then asked Dad and he said it’s because I was a rescue. I was once in a kill shelter in South Carolina when I was only 7 weeks old, but Daddy said God somehow worked it out that I got to come home with him and Mom. He said anything God touches is perfect, and ever since I’ve gotten to live with him and Mom, my life has been pretty much perfect. Well, except for that time I chewed up his Washington Nationals World Series hat. I don’t want to talk about that.
Q: The final question comes from a sweet dog named Penny, sent in by Amy (@Hokieamy on Twitter): “does every dog look good in Orange and Maroon like we do?”
A: You mean there are other colors than Orange and Maroon? Let me put it this way: On a scale of 1 to 10, the worst dog I’ve ever seen wearing Orange and Maroon was a 13. You and I, conversely, are up in the 30s. ?
